Telling Renee
by xPinkx
Summary: This is how I see Bella and Edward telling Renee that they are engaged, as i don't think Stephenie will include it in Breaking Dawn. All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. If you like this I've posted another fic called Telling Charlie. Please review.


Telling Renee

Okay, so I was wrong. And I really am glad that Renee was happy for Bella-it made everything easier- but I'm keeping my story up, because I put a lot of effort into it!

**Telling Renée**

I knew that the cowardly thing to do would be to try and tell Renée over the phone. But, as appealing as it was to not have to see the shock in her eyes when I told her the news, I knew this was too important not to break to her in person. And I would have a lot of issues to sort out with her. All I'd told her was that I had some important news to tell her.

Edward had secured us plane tickets for the coming weekend and we were flying over to Florida together. Renée was delighted that I was coming. She was still feeling guilty that she'd missed my Graduation and I knew how much she wanted to see me. Of course she'd started to worry that it was something bad I had to tell her so I'd had to assure her that it wasn't; well for me at least.

So, it was finally time. I was sitting in Renée's living room. After all the greeting and catch-ups I had managed to put this conversation off till the end of the day. Edward had his arm wrapped around me like he had done when we had told Charlie our news. I knew that the last time we had been here Edward and I had been careful to keep some distance between us so that Renée did not think we were to serious, but her clear and childlike mind had seen right through us. I didn't see the point of keeping up that pretence now.

'So, what were you going to tell me?' Renée asked, saving me the trouble of beginning the difficult conversation. Her forehead was creased in worry, and I suspected she had been fretting about me since I had phoned her, despite the fact that I had profusely told her she didn't need to.

I closed my eyes for a moment, not wanting to see her expression when I told her the news, but I knew that was a stupid idea. I was here in front of her; I was going to have to face her.

'Mum' I said quietly but surely. _Slight pause_. 'I'm getting married. To Edward. On August 13th - I think.' Better to get it all out at once; get the surprises out the way.

I watched her reaction, my stomach clenching within me. Her face was frozen, her eyes wide. Then her expression changed; she smiled, patient, but her eyes were confused. 'What do you mean Bella? I – I don't understand.'

'Edward proposed to me; I – I said yes.' I lifted up my hand to show her my ring; I could feel my hand was shaking slightly. I heard her intake of breath.

'Married?' Renée repeated to herself, as if listening to how the word sounded, coming from her own mouth. 'Married…' She still seemed in denial, waiting for me to contradict what I had just told her.

'Yes' I whispered softly. I reached out to put my hand on hers, but she did not respond. Her hand just lay limply on her knee.

'Well' I said pathetically, unsure of how to react to her response. 'Are you –um – going to congratulate us?'

She didn't seem to hear; she was still staring off into space, her face strangely neutral from expression. She seemed to be concentrating on something.

I looked round at Edward desperately, to see if he could give me any indication as to what she was thinking. He moved to put his free hand over our two clasped hands and gave a small smile of reassurance, although his eyes looked worried.

Renée's hand suddenly seemed to grasp movement and it fluttered to her head as if she had a headache. Her expression changed to one of anguish.

'Mom?' I whispered, panic leaking into my voice.

'You – you can't be' she said faintly. I could barely hear her. She seemed to be talking more to herself. 'I thought… I thought you always understood when I told you…you know what happened between me and your father. I never, _never_ want you to go through that. I love you. I never wanted to see you hurt the way I was or the way I hurt him.

She suddenly looked up and gazed at me right in the eye. 'Explain to me Bella. Make me understand what's going on. I promise I won't say anything more until you've said your piece.'

I was momentarily robbed of my breath. Explain? I could never fully explain. I could feel my palms sweating but I clasped on to Edward's hand tighter.

'I _love_ him mom.' I said, emotion filling my voice as I spoke with feeling. 'I know… I know I never thought I would be that girl who got married so young. I remember what you told me. But that was before I fell in love. Before I knew what it was, what I felt. Things change when you fall love.' I knew that if I told Renée my initial doubt about getting married she would pounce on it immediately and use it against me.

'I know' said Renée looking down at her hands, barely audible. 'I know…'

She continued to stare at me intensely for a few moments. She seemed to be considering what she was about to say.

'Edward is a very handsome boy Bella.' She didn't say this to cause offence or in an attempt to patronise. She just wanted to get a point across. 'I know myself; you can't always tell the difference between infatuation –a crush – and real love. You're so young Bella and I know how intense those feelings for your first love can be. But, the difference is that those feelings can burn out; it's no one's fault, it just happens. I'll always blame myself though for being so foolish; so rash. I hurt someone that I cared about. I'll always have that regret with me, weighing me down.'

I felt a stabbing pain in my heart as I thought about the people _I_ loved and yet had hurt. Edward… and Jacob. I knew the guilt would never leave me, but I had promised myself I would do everything I could never to hurt either of them again. I was also angry that Renée seemed to believe I was with Edward for his looks. If only she knew how many times I wished that he didn't look exactly as he did; how his perfection sometimes overawed me and how I wished I could feel more equal with him.

'Are you saying I'm shallow mom?' I replied hotly.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself by concentrating on Edward's touch; I didn't want to fight with Renée. 'I'm not in love with his looks mom' I stated, calm this time.

'Oh I know' she answered quickly. 'I didn't mean it like that. I know you better than that Bella.' She didn't elaborate on what she actually had meant, but instead bit down on her bottom lip for a moment. 'Ah, Bella; my beautiful Bella' she said sighing and leaning forward to rest her hand on the side of my face. 'You deserve so much. So much more than _marriage._ You deserve the world. You have a wonderful future ahead of you.'

'Mom, please' I begged, not wanting to go where she was trying to lead me. '_This_ is my future. This is what I want. I'm getting married and I want you to be there; more than anything. I want to have your blessing.' I saw her lip wobble, but she was trying to hide her emotion.

'What if I didn't come' she said slowly, distress in her eyes. I knew she wasn't being calculating or manipulative. She was just doing what she could, what she thought she had to do. 'Would you still go through with it?'

I struggled to repress the lump in my throat. 'Yes' I whispered. Renée's eyes widened. I could see sorrow in them. It didn't fit with her chirpy, happy personality.

'Bella, please don't do this', she whispered. 'You can't have thought it through. I told you, I don't want to see you go through the same thing that I did. I couldn't bear it. I promised myself I would never let the same thing happen to you. I won't.'

'I t won't,' I promised. After I'd said this could see that it had hurt her.

'Bella, I never could have predicted what would happen. How can you? Life doesn't work like that. Life isn't always fair.' She paused before adding, 'I never realised you two were so serious. It's all my fault. I should have protected you more, looked after you better; maybe then you would never have left to go and live in Forks in the first place.'

I felt my heart drop like a stone into my stomach and my blood run cold as I imagined what my life would have been like if I'd never gone to live with Charlie; never met Edward…I found that I couldn't imagine what I would do, how I would feel; my life would be so empty.

But…my heart went out to Renée. 'You've always been great, mom. You did nothing wrong. It was my choice to leave.'

'But I knew something was wrong' she continued, antagonising herself. 'Even back in the hospital when you were lying there all broken. He never left your side. Some guys would run a mile; too much emotional pain to go through. But, I convinced myself there was nothing to worry about. How could I have been so _stupid_.' Her voice rose in pitch on the last word. It was uncharacteristic of her to be so distraught. I wanted to go and hug and tell her I would look after her and that I would never do anything to upset her, but I couldn't because I _had_ to do this. Her hands unconsciously moved up to tangle in her hair, a sign of her distress.

'Mom, nothing is your fault. It was my decision. _Our_ decision.'

'You're only eighteen Bella. Give it time. Allow yourself to mature.'

I found myself getting irritated again. I_ was_ the mature one. I'd always _had _to be. I didn't respond though. She didn't deserve an argument. She seemed to grasp the irritation clear in my eyes however, and muttered, 'I'm sorry. Perhaps that wasn't fair. I don't think you're immature; just too young.'

'It's okay.' I knew Renée felt guilty because of all I done for her over the years; I had acted more like the parent than Renee had whilst I was growing up. 'I understand your point mom; but I am ready. I'm not acting blindly, impulsively. I've thought this through. It's… the best way for us to be together.'

'Have you though? Have you thought every part through?'

I wondered how she'd react if she knew the truth about me becoming a vampire. Would she say that I couldn't possibly have thought that decision through either? But I had. Whatever negatives there were, they were all overridden by the fact that I needed to be with Edward. That was simply more important than any pain I felt. If I didn't change into a vampire, I would grow old die and he would have to live without me for eternity. I couldn't do that to him, because for some crazy reason, he loved me like I loved him. And part of me told me that if I died to he would go back to Italy... but I couldn't allow that thought to properly enter my mind; it was too painful, too awful. Of course I couldn't forget that every second I remained human also put the people I loved dearly in danger.

'No one gets married at eighteen these days.' She tried, taking advantage of my silence. 'Unless…' she said, her forehead creasing again.

'I'm not pregnant mom' I sighed, frustration leaking into my voice.

'I don't need to speak to you about that again do I? You are being responsible aren't you? I know young love and all that…'

'Yes mom.' I'd heard this lecture from her a thousand times.

'Ok… it just you know how I worry.'

'Yes I know' I replied. I did.

'I don't know what else to say. There can't be anything else you couldn't have possibly thought about when making such a big decision like this… It's too important. I know you're practical Bella.' She eyed me carefully, to see my reaction. I knew she didn't believe that I had thought it through, and she was trying to make me realise it.

'I don't know what else to say either mom. I can only speak from my heart… and it is in love with Edward.' I wanted to say 'it belongs to Edward', but I didn't want to alarm her any further with the details of the intensity of our relationship.

'Sometimes though… sometimes you need to think a bit more with your head. You can't always follow your heart. It's a hard lesson, but I had to learn it. This is the real world Bella' she said sadly. I felt sorry for her again; I knew my mom and the real world hard a hard time living together in harmony.

'I didn't make this decision lightly, mom. Believe me… I couldn't always just follow my heart; it took me in different directions and I had to make some hard decisions.' I'd hoped she wouldn't examine that statement too closely, but she focused her eyes on me speculatively.

'What about that boy Jacob?' she said unexpectedly. I wasn't prepared for it. I'd almost forgotten how she could see right to the heart of things; see straight through complicated wordings and cover ups. She was trusting though and that helped things.

I knew what she must be thinking now and I hoped Edward wouldn't be hurt by her thoughts. After all, I knew she wouldn't realise she was upsetting him. Her thoughts were a lot tamer than Charlie's; and innocent although tainted slightly by the reality of life.

Again I wasn't quick enough to respond. 'Charlie told me he liked you. You were his best friend, weren't you? I hope you weren't unkind to him.' she said, concerned. I signed. I'd had to go through this with Charlie, and now Renée. It was still painful.

'I'm not _with_ Jacob, mom. I'm with Edward.'

'Yes I know; but your so young Bella; so youthful. Most girls your age have dated several times. It's what I should have done. They date different people, enjoy being young. You've grown up too fast, and despite what you say, it _is_ my fault. I thought I was teaching you to think carefully marriage, but what I kept saying pushed you the other way; made you grow up too fast. I shouldn't have discussed marriage, burdened you with adult troubles to you when you were so young. No wonder you think this is the only option; you _are_ mature; your acting like a grown up; a grown up who's had a lot of experience of life and is ready for a decision like this, but you're not ready. You're still my little girl.'

I stood up. I could take no more this; Renée was causing herself so much anguish. With a deep breath I said, 'Mum I'm a legal adult and I'm getting married. I know you love me, and I love you. _So_ much.' I was glad that she didn't know _how_ much; well at least the truth of why I had ended up in hospital with half my body shattered. She was protected that way. 'So I understand you trying to talk me out of it. It's because you care about me and don't want to see me hurt. Of course you're protective of me; it's what moms do. But I won't be hurt. Edward loves me and would never hurt me… again' I added seeing the expression in her eyes and not wanting to her to voice an opinion on _that_ subject. I instantly regretted it even so; I couldn't look around and meet his eyes.

'What about you?' she said.

'What do you mean?' I asked, confused.

'You seem sure he would never stop loving you, never hurt you again; I'm not so sure, as much as it pains me to say it; but what if you were hurt him or leave _him_? A marriage is about two people Bella.'

I stared at her, stunned, and unwelcome thoughts of Jake sprang into my mind; not because I thought that I was _going_ to hurt Edward but because I was reminded again like a blow to the gut of how much I already had.

Edward spoke up then; he had kept quiet before, just giving me silent support through his touch, knowing how I had to sort things out with Renée for myself. He must have sensed now though that I could not handle this anymore.

'I know how much Bella is giving up for me, Renée.' He spoke with true sincerity and I knew how much weight those words held. 'I didn't take this decision lightly either.'

Something in Renée's face seemed to change. She looked haggard and tired but there was some acceptance there; not about me getting married but that there was nothing she could do to change it.

'So is there nothing I can say to change your mind?' She asked me, a last hope.

I shook my head, my eyes full of sympathy for her; because what _I_ was putting her through.

'Well then' she said slowly. 'I guess this is a lesson you're going to have to learn on your own. I tried. I really hope you're right and things work out for you; but I feel like I know enough of life to know it doesn't often work the way you want it to.'

'What about you and Phil, though? You're happy aren't you? Love can conquer.'

'Yes, we are' she smiled. Her first genuine smile of this conversation. 'But I'm a lot wiser now. He's my second husband. I never wanted to get divorced. I never planned my life to be that way.'

She stepped forward to hug me; I willingly responded and it was heartfelt but brief. Turning without another word and staring at the floor, she quickly and left the room. It was not enough to hide the tears escaping from her eyes though, that she had hidden before; trying to spare my feelings probably. I didn't deserve it.

'Mom?' I called, but there was no answer.

I turned and collapsed into the sanctuary Edwards's arms, tears pouring down my face. He pulled me closer, stroking my hair in comfort and securing me against his chest, the only place I felt truly safe. 'We still have tomorrow to talk to her' he said, his low soothing voice trying to melt my fears. We were staying for the weekend and I didn't want to cut the visit short. I knew Renée would still want me to stay, even if she was upset.

He bent down to plant a kiss my forehead. The cold mark it left on my skin seemed to flow down through me, calming my heart and filling me with the reassurance only he could provide. I hoped he was right. I moved to look up at him and he placed his hand under my chin and fixed his golden eyes on mine. 'She'll come round. You know Alice saw her at the wedding.'

In the dim light of dusk creeping through the chink in the curtain – during the conversation or more accurately _argument_ with Renée the light had faded – the gentle but undeniable force of his eyes seemed stronger. I felt I could live forever, never looking into another pair of eyes again as long as I had his to drown in for the rest of eternity. I felt some peace wash over me despite the fact that he did not have Jasper's gift; he was more effective than Jasper to me. I felt that I knew Renée too well though to fully believe Edward's words might be true; but maybe I just had to rely on the fact that I had swayed her in the past. I would just have to wait for her to calm down. Try again...

'Everything will turn out alright.'

Still, I said nothing.


End file.
